What not to say (A given for an occasional series)

When in America, never jest in shopping malls in Long Island along the following lines:

"I hope that John McCain wins the election, because then the value of the dollar will fall as the rest of the world loses faith in America, and so my pounds will be worth something."

Of course, if you are a fan of being the recipient of SEVERE ANGER FACE, rinse and repeat until you build a suitable lather.