America Vs. England - who has the best train service?

As I am preparing to commute to Manhattan on a daily basis via the Long Island Rail Road, I was thinking about my former commute to London via the c2c (coast2capital was my favourite incarnation provided by the company for the meaning of ‘c2c’) line in south Essex. And in the spirit of competition, I have decided to compare the two on a number of different headings and we will see which country has the undisputed king of trains.

Journey time

According to Google Maps, the trip from Freeport Station to New York Penn Station is 22.5 miles, and the journey takes an average 45 minutes, averaging out at 2 minutes per mile = 30 mph. My old trip from Thorpe Bay to Fenchurch Street, again according to Google Maps, is 36.5 miles and takes an average 58 minutes, or 1.6 minutes per mile = 37.5 mph. First blood to England!

Fare

In the interest of fairness for this comparison, I will not be utilising the exchange rate, as that would create an uneven playing surface. When you consider that a pair of jeans will cost either $40 or £40 in Gap, or that a Nintendo Wii is $199 or £199, it is equally as fair to merely change the currency sign in front of the fare as that is the relative buying power of the country in question.

A peak time return from Freeport to Penn Station will set you back $22.50 at the station ($0.50 per mile) or $34 if you were to buy both ways on the train (or $0.76 per mile). To be fair it’s not very likely you would buy a ticket on the train both ways, but there you go. A peak time return from Thorpe Bay to Fenchurch Street is £15.30, or £0.21 per mile. Even if we did allow for currency exchange, England would still be greater value for money!

Reasons for delays

The LIRR has regular delays due to people either trying to kill themselves or, at the moment, leaves on the line. Meanwhile c2c has delays due to Nazi bombs being unearthed next to the line, large plastic gazebos wrapping themselves around the power lines or people attempting to steal the trackside power generators. It’s another win for the old country.

Station names

c2c has Chalkwell, Pitsea and Barking on the main line. LIRR has Babylon & Jamaica. America wins this round.

Class of passengers

How British! Both railways have shocking passengers. c2c has chavs who fly kick the train as they leave and generally are sweary, uncouth, and awful. The LIRR has charming people who threaten to smash in the face of women who talk too loudly on the phone and then to assault whoever they are talking to as well. On second thoughts, that’s the type of person we need in England so we can prevent carriage-wide broadcasts of how many men the slag from Benfleet has fucked in the last week. 3-2 to England.

Scenery of the ride

A journey to London used to entail a trip next to the sea, then a castle, then some fields with cows and horses before finally getting a view of the Tower of London as the train pulls in. On the LIRR you get to go through some of the grottiest bits of Queens going that look like a shanty town. 4-2 to England!

Final score

It ends up 4-2 to c2c. Sorry America, my adopted homeland, but your trains take uglier routes, are slower and more expensive. Here’s one area where America is not the best in the world, and my countrymen back home can stand proud. Viva la c2c!

Reasons to be happy for living in the USA...

Next Saturday looks like this:

7.45am Burnley vs Chelsea ESPN2

10.00am Tottenham vs Birmingham FSC

12.15pm Man Utd vs Arsenal FSC

2.30pm AC Milan vs Inter Milan FSC

And then possibly a game from La Liga (although they never announce them in advance)

8.30pm DC United vs Chicago Fire FSC

And then if I am still awake...

11pm LA Galaxy vs Chivas USA FSC

Museum Ratings: New York Federal Reserve

I had a guided tour booked for Tuesday of the Federal Reserve of New York. You can visit it with or without a tour, as they have a nice free exhibition about money through the ages, but to get the full benefit, you will need to book up a month in advance. Why? Because that is the only way to get access to the fabled gold vaults that lie 5 levels below the surface. The tour itself is fairly short, after all, there is only so much that you can say about gold being kept somewhere, but is fairly informative and interesting. I wasn't keen on the videos they kept showing, they seemed almost to be there just to pad the tour out. But you can't beat free, especially when you are given a novel keep-sake at the end of the tour. And so I would recommend it (I'd say probably book 2 months in advance if you want a choice of when to visit).

Just in case my request is granted

Here are my questions that I have thought of so far. Any suggestions would be welcome.

1. Are you aware of the positionings of the British and US healthcare systems as according to the World Health Organisation? Do you think that the British would score twice as high as the Americans if they truly did value the lives of the elderly less than others?

2. Do you agree that your statement about Ted Kennedy not getting treatment in England was a preposterous thing to say?

3. Do you think it wise to make misinformed statements about your country's staunchest ally, and at the same time, stir up anti-American sentiment by doing so?

4. Are you for or against healthcare reform? If against, do you think that a country that prides itself to be the best in the world should settle for the most expensive, and yet 38th best, healthcare system?

5. What do you value more: sending robots to distant planets or giving all Americans the opportunity to afford healthcare and the chance of a longer, healthier choice?

6. If given the choice of space exploration or healthcare, which do you think the American public would choose?

7. Were your remarks about the NHS your own or a party line?

Letter to a Senator

Here is my letter to Chuck Grassley of Iowa, one of the Senators making uneducated idiot remarks about the NHS. If my request for a meeting with him is granted, I shall let everyone know.

Sir, As a British national living in the United States, I wish to register my disgust and contempt for a remark attributed to you regarding the British National Health Service. Your statement of "I don't know for sure, but I've heard several senators say that Ted Kennedy with a brain tumour, being 77 years old as opposed to being 37 years old, if he were in England, would not be treated for his disease, because end of life – when you get to be 77, your life is considered less valuable under those systems" is nothing short of a vile lie, seemingly with the only purpose of trying to undermine an example of a successful public health system for your own political means. I find your remarks to be ill-considered and wholly uneducated, and somewhat shocking given your position as a senior member of the Senate. I suggest that you fire your advisors as they clearly did not brief you very well (or at all) on this issue. Even the most cursory of research would have shown that your statement is a blatant falsehood. I hope that you are aware that there is a considerable backlash against your besmirching in the United Kingdom, and that you have probably contributed to worsening the view of the Republican party in the eyes of many. The only honorable thing for a man in your position to do would be to publicly apologize for your mis-informed statement, and even if you do so, I sincerely hope that the British Government issues you with a writ for liable. I eagerly anticipate your response on this sensitive issue. Sincerely, Gavin Bridge

ATTENTION AMERICANS: THE REPUBLICANS ARE LYING TO YOU

It has come to my attention that in their efforts to get the healthcare reform cancelled, members of the Republican party have told a pack of lies about the British National Health Service. Now, I am not a socialist by any means, in fact I voted Conservative in the last British General Election, but these lies are outrageous and I want to make sure that anyone I know in the States knows the truth about the matter.

Number one: Old people with brain tumours do not get treatment on the NHS. Quite frankly, the British government should sue for liable over this ridiculous claim. I don't even know where to begin. If this was true, I think Britain would be reknowned the world over for just letting their old people die once they are seriously ill, rather than a secret that the Republicans have uncovered with their espionage.

Number two: People with heart disease over 59 are left to die because it would be expensive to give them the drugs. This is just pure falsehood.

Look, the NHS isn't perfect. People have to wait for operations, as they are granted on a 'whoever needs it most gets it first' basis. Sometimes, people have to tough it out a little if they are in no danger of dying from an ailment. But that can be a good thing. We don't dole prescription medicines around like they are candy, and so are nowhere near as reliant on pills as this country. Doctors aren't fronts for pharmeceutical companies, trying to peddle their favourite company's drugs. All prescriptions cost just over £6 each. Our healthcare is officially twice as good as yours according to the World Health Organisation (18th to 37th) and people LIVE LONGER in the UK despite smoking and drinking much more.

Finally, Sarah Palin, the luminary pinnacle of intelligence all should hope to aspire to, has topped her claim that Africa is a country by Obama's health reforms as "evil". WTF how does this woman even get near a microphone.

REPUBLICANS: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/aug/11/nhs-united-states-republican-health

Thoughts & Feelings on my first US soccer game

• The banter between the two rival sets of fans (each their biggest rivals) on the train, singing back and forth would not even be allowed in Britain for fear of violence. But there was none, and I was very impressed.
• US football fans are generally quite intelligent, a far cry above watching England play in a pub in Southend and having people with an IQ of 24 screaming swearwords and nothing else. It was amazing to hear a father discuss with his young sons where the coach went wrong with the offensive play.
• US fans are also quite friendly. When one accidentally spilt some drink over me, he at first offered me his spare shirt (or souvenir) to dry my back, and when I refused, came back 5 minutes later with a Pepsi (a mere snip at $4.50), apologising profusely that they were no longer serving beer.
• I have never seen so many Mexicans in one place.
• It is ironic that of all the games I have been to in England, the only one that I have been to in the US is the one with the largest crowd I have been to (at least 70,000) and the noisest I have been to as well, with my ears buzzing after Mexico's B team meted out a 5-0 thrashing to the US's B team.
• Giovanni dos Santos is a pretty good player.
• The Mexico #22 is a dirty swine.
• There were some hilarious xenophobic Americans near me who were complaining that there were some announcements in Spanish following the English as "We are in America", ignoring the fact that it was an International Tournament that America was hosting and that around 80% of the crowd was Mexican.
• It looked as if they were selling glass beer bottles, but just taking the caps off! I'm sure that would stop a glass bottle being thrown effectively.
• A Mexican wave done by Mexicans is pretty impressive.
• New York would not be a suitable venue for the Olympic games. Apart from the fact that the two airports actually in New York have no direct rail link to the city (JFK has the Air Train + a connection, La Guardia has a bus), the only place to build an Olympic Stadium and other facilities would be at the Giants Stadium area, which is ill-suited as it has only one transport link (a branch line) and is in the swamps.
• Speaking of, travelling to Giants Stadium by train is bizarre. Once you leave New York, you go through swamps for 25 minutes until you arrive.
• Sepp Blatter was in the house! I suppose any excuse for a free trip...

Here are some pictures from my iPhone. I wish I'd brought my good camera now! Some are from the beginning and some are when Mexico had scored their third.

US home prices down 15%...

...at least according to an advert I just saw on Facebook. "What should you do?" it asks. I'd think not buying from Jeremy Beadle (RIP) would be a good start. 

The Manhattan Bridge

Manhattan Bridge at sea level, originally uploaded by gavieb.

I like this picture, the clouds make it seem like it could be a painting. Of course, no bridge touches the magnificence of Tower Bridge, but this is a nice one.

New York resembles something naughty!

Of course, that does mean that JFK is an arsehole.

Romance in Ireland (I hope it doesn't apply to Irish-Americans too)

'A NORTH Clare resident who admitted to masturbating while following young women around Galway City may be stripped of his crown as Ireland's Most Romantic Man'

This is too good to miss

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Dispatches from NYC: Book reviewer?

Some of you may be aware that I have been keeping a blog where I keep a record of the books I have read (stretching all the way back to July last year) at http://gavinsbooklog.blogspot.com. However! I was moved to see if I could become a book reviewer somewhere, and so I have become one at www.newsblaze.com. There's the chance to get free books, and it's something constructive to do with my time rather than trying to win the Premier League with Manchester City in Football Manager (I think I'm up to 2015 and 9 real-time days spent on that so far). I've just had my first review put on the site, probably could have picked something a little bit more mainstream than a book about incest by the Marquis de Sade, but it's interesting! So if you wouldn't mind... please click here and go and have a read!

You're going to love my nuts

This is the best advert ever, plus the guy kinda looks like Two-Face:

Dispatches From NYC: But also gets cool!

I was walking down 7th Avenue on Monday night, and saw a sign advertising the big cup game between my hometown, Southend United, and Chelsea. I wanted to take a picture because it's not every day you see Southend United mentioned in New York. But there were these two guys standing by the sign. They asked me what I was doing, and when I told them, one of them asked if he could stand by the sign looking excited. So here is Southend's newest supporter...

Dispatches From NYC: New York gets scary

This man is not a prophet

Whilst browsing the sales on Barnes&Noble.com, I came across a book called

The Next Great Bubble Boom: How to Profit from the Greatest Boom in History: 2006-2010

which in the current climate must be worth reading only for ironic humour. How Harry S. Dent, Jr must regret writing this. A brief look at his predictions include:

• The Dow hitting 40,000 by the end of the decade
• The Nasdaq advancing at least ten times from its October 2001 lows to around 13,500, and potentially as high as 20,000 by 2009
• Another strong advance in stocks in 2005, with a significant correction into around September/October 2006
• The Great Boom resurging into its final and strongest stage in 2007, and even more fully in 2008, lasting until late 2009 to early 2010

It also goes on to say that the author has an "amazing ability to track and forecast our financial future is renowned, and here he takes that ability to the next level, showing not only what our economy will look like but also how it will affect us as individuals, as organizations,and as a culture. From the upcoming wealth revolution to the essential principles of entrepreneurial success, the book describes a new society where economic and philanthropic development go hand in hand. In The Next Great Bubble Boom, Dent shows not only how the economic growth of the late 1990s was a prelude to the true great boom right around the corner but how all of us can reap its benefits."

Sounds like utter fantasy!